Becoming a Guru in 7 steps: Maybe the best job in the world!

Being a Guru can be a good idea…

Let me think…

Sergio Guru doesn’t sound so good, does he?

You’d better find me a stage name or a title that makes the most impression, like world savior, fucker of misunderstood puzzles, or the one who made 3 people stop walking by simply breaking his legs with a 5Kg bat.

The son is already taken, there have been too many prophets, I just have to be:

Third cousin of Manitou and Stepbrother of Neptune, king of the sea.

I am your new third millennium Guru!

I must say that I am entering the part, I already feel more divine, from now on if you want to talk to a god you can only do it through me, I am the human means of the divine …

I stop here before someone calls the neuro for a T.S.O. (Mandatory Health Treatment).

Let’s go back to being a guru, it’s a job suitable for seduction or it’s better to resign oneself and leave the usual men in the black cassock to fuck the kids.

Let’s see the necessary steps to transform yourself in the eyes of possible followers in Guru of first quality DOCG:

first of all, an imaginary universe of beliefs must be created, where the disciples do not know, but I do, you can become ultra super mega divine fantasies only through my person (even beautiful I would say).

There are only two methods by which you can achieve this state of omnipotence where you can control even the pee that runs away so much:

for men substantial donation of money and protection of my person (then we’ll see why it’s needed).

For the beautiful girls to go through my divine sword of light (I’m not sure what a beautiful name for my pea I pulled out), is the only way to reach the state beyond Nirvana but not the Pink Floyd that they knew how to play …

Not always the procedure of divinization succeeds in the first shot, but no fear if very beautiful can try at will or bring a friend always very cool that in three the grace (and divine orgasm) is even better!

 

Really a good idea to do the Guru…

You don’t do anything all day long, if they turn you punish someone at random, if you want to fuck, ops I meant to make someone ascend to the divine you can do it, I don’t see why more people don’t do the Guru.

At first you have to take things in the right direction, a premature complaint can ruin your career, when made to happen at the right time is immense positive publicity for free.

As on the web with a blog or on youtube the first readers, the first followers are the most difficult to do, so it is in the world of the Guru.

I do not recommend advertising investments at this stage, the R.O.I. would be negative and you risk being targeted by unfriendly people with hats.

The first 10, or rather the first twelve that is a number has already tried in the time that works, must be found at the shut up, the same to get first to 100 and then to a thousand followers beautifully convinced.

To avoid, like the plague, behaviours from C series films such as raping and drugging underage girls:

you already have the followers to have sex as long as you want to leave the little ones alone, we are not in certain Muslim countries.

As for the drug that some people give to others, I think only exists in films, in reality everyone keeps it for themselves, plus an arrest at this stage could destroy the long-term plan of becoming a Guru.

Getting to a thousand may take some time, but thanks to the web maybe you can shorten this period a lot, but I repeat:

remains low at this stage that if you get up too much there is the bird padulo always flying and do you know how high it flies?

 

Become a Guru 2020: over a thousand disciples…

Now staying silent is not easy, so it’s better to decide by yourself when to speed up before it forces us to do it someone else who could limit us.

One doesn’t look at the growth in the number of the faithful, one hundred thousand would be optimal, but already a 5-10000 is fairly well.

What do we need these large numbers for?

Not for the economic side, already with a thousand people you have as much money as you want and the same can be said of fucking beautiful women, if you have chosen well the female demographic target to convert.

Serve not to pay taxes!

The Italy there are those who monetize too much the sector of religious sects, they are really greedy, they want to earn only them on the popular credibility:

they already have immense real estate assets, I think the largest in the world, money that constantly arrives, impunity in sodomizing children and still not enough?

They also say that only their god is the real one, the others are imitations made in China…

You know what laughter I have when they discover that there is the goddess Kali waiting for them along with Manitou and others whose name I do not remember now.

Recommended to get some ‘of the faithful in the U.S. but not too many to create alarm that to be taken out takes little (Osho Docet).

 

Guru in seven moves Objective Achieved!

Before setting foot in America, or rather better not to go there at all, to put to work the followers to obtain the status of religion and the total tax relief on donations.

At this point you have arrived, you can put as a religious belief that at least two over-the-top girls lie it down for the day or whatever you know, whatever comes to mind.

To tell the truth, there is a further step to becoming a Guru of the Gurus:

become the state religion and lead the country to new heights from which to throw it down to your own exclusive pleasure …

This is really graduating with honors in Gurite (the science of being Guru), unfortunately it is not easy and the few who arrived at this stage were tragically teased:

when alive did not count for anything and became popular only after deaths, a bit ‘as happened to many artists.

This is also normal, the Guru is an artist of exploiting the fears and desires of people less gurosa than him.

We’re going to bang him and try to make a success of it in this life that doesn’t work so well for him to fuck incorporeally.

Indeed, now that I think about it since I decide the credulity of the mass, let’s make sure that after death you are reborn in a mosquito that lives in the booty if you are not a faithful of mine, and how to be heavenly beautiful almost like me if you have been enslaved in the right way by the Guru, that is me.

 

Making the Guru in the third millennium: what fascist system to use…

Remember that the divine is P.P.P. i.e. He brings little patience and the Guru even less, so watch out for yourself, you are under scrutiny 24 hours a day, better for you to remain without any sin, of the kind that you are questioning your Guru.

Another mortal sin is to give a thousand when you could give two thousand:

What are you doing with your guru?

You don’t know that the sect is + a den of spies where everyone has to tell me everything they do and what others do:

there is a special activity called “screwing up your neighbor”, or the sacrament of repentance, or the five minutes of the infamous.

Taking example from seven alive for thousands of years (alive, say zombies) can be a good idea, in fact one of the recent created has done just that:

using the faithful to screw others and themselves up so that they can be blackmailed, as well as always knowing what happens under and before the others.

Information is power:

power is enjoying if you are a Guru

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